4.25.2011

Total Loss Department

I called the insurance company about my car. They said, “Oh, that claim has been transferred to the Total Loss Department.”

That answers that, I thought.

The name ‘Total Loss Department’ hits me right in my sense for the ridiculous. I love it. I put a jokey status on facebook, something about the other things that might also reside in the Total Loss Department... certain ex-boyfriends... some college majors...

Lately this house has felt like it lives in the Total Loss Department too. It’s disheartening. We’ve put so much work into it, had such great plans-- and now we’re just selling it and walking away.

But being married to Dan keeps my pessimism in check. I started thinking, is anything ever really a total loss? I mean, the worst relationships at least taught me-- well, don’t do that again. The car’s demise gets me a check, after all. So, not total losses.

Leaving this house behind-- maybe that’s not such a bad thing. It has a lot of unhappy memories. It held all our awkward adjustments and growing pains. These walls are plastered with frustration; the yard is watered with tears.

Now I look at the new house with real relief. We're walking away from bad mojo and moving on to our unburdened, fresh start house. And better, we’re leaving as a family. We sure weren’t one of those when we moved in here three years ago. Clean slate. Blank check.

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