There's a change in the air that isn't just Fall itself. This year, something smells different. I keep thinking of a dog when it finds a scent: dead still, tail perfectly straight, nose forward, ears up. Motionless. Waiting. It smells like… revolution. Like waking up.
It's not mystical or anything. My life feels upside down because it is indeed upside down. Factors include my impending job loss, and Husband's return to family court to address custody issues with ExWife. I glimpse possibilities lurking behind this season's uncertainty, and it makes me too wired to sleep well anymore. I'm edgy with hope. I'm surprised to find I'm looking at these as "opening a door to a new career" and "clearing the fumes will lead to better air" (respectively) rather than "the end of my life as I know it." This is good. Maybe Husband's wonderful, relentless optimism is finally infecting me.
My body at rest definitely likes to stay at rest, right up until it's smacked by something undeniable enough that it can overcome my grumbling reluctance and get me off my ass.
These things needed to change. Dead weight needs to be removed to allow new growth.
Let the smacking commence.