So I didn't win NaNo this year, the first since I've been participating. I don't feel disappointed though-- or, okay, I'm a little bummed of course. But more on principle than in reality. Because I learned a lot of very cool things this year from NaNo (and my reflective stomach flu days, during which I didn't go near the computer), and particularly one big thing:
If there's one thing I don't need to be doing more of every day, it's writing. If I have extra time every day, I'd rather be doing something different. Something not at the computer. Something like painting or art projects. But not more writing.
|Penn Vet / Foter.com / CC BY-NC|
And another thing: I'm not all that keen on writing fiction. You know how they say you should choose your career based on how you'd spend your time if you didn't have to work for money and instead you do whatever you want for fun? Yeah. For me "writing fiction" is nowhere on the fun list. I can do it. I even like reading my own stuff; I think it's pretty good. But I don't care about it. I see writing fiction for a living as just one more corner I'd write myself into, stuck somewhere because I'm good at something even though it's not necessarily what I want to be doing.
I love writing nonfiction though. Things that happened. Stuff that's in my head. Blog posts. Those things, I would write even if Dan and I were hopping into a hot tub full of money every night. And so I think if I am going to focus on more me-writing as opposed to work-writing then, as my niece used to say when she was learning to talk, "More of THAT."
Which brings me to my next piece of news.
As much as I love this blog, it's time for it to move along. I've gone from 2 views a day on a good day to around 40 per post on a slow day without any effort on my part (and really, a pretty severe lack of dedication, what with posting at random times and on totally disconnected subjects and all). My top posts have over a thousand views each. That sounds like a high number, but it's pretty low when you think about how big the Internet is. Low, but telling. And it makes me wonder how many views I could get if I actually focused on this.
I really love writing these posts. I even love finding the stock photos, adding quotes to pictures... combining words and images: my two great loves. I feel like I'm building something, even if it's only for me and my two or three loyal readers. So, back to the doing what you love thing-- well, I love this; maybe it's time to get serious.
So this blog is moving to a new home and will also be getting a facelift. I guess if I can get up early every stupid day to write more words for NaNo, I could also get up early and learn WordPress, build myself an actual website.
The blog is getting a new name too. One day I was talking to my sister, back when Dan and I were just dating. And I said "You know, the kids were playing, and they were actually getting along for a change and Dan and I were sitting there holding hands, and his phone was off so there were no nasty calls from his ex, and we were happy for a minute. It was almost like we were an actual family. Almost like... like..."
"Almost like real life?" she suggested.
"Yeah," I said. "Exactly."
And I knew when I started this blog, that was the only name it could have.
Over the past year, though, I feel like I've cheapened my all-the-way-real life by describing it as only almost real. My life may not match what I thought it'd be like (does anyone's?) but it's definitely real. And by saying it's only almost real, I keep this carrot out there for myself like I'm going to get to actual life at some point. Like I'm not there yet.
Except I am.
I'm sure I put way too much thought into this. But that's okay, because I'm a writer; if I didn't put too much thought into everything, what the hell would I have to write about?
Anyway, I'll keep you posted on the new blog name (that's a surprise) and the new address (once I have it), but the grand plan is to make the big move for the first post of the New Year. In between then and now, stay tuned. We still need to talk about how the second half of my Year of Fruition went.