Our wedding was three years ago today. I jokingly said to my mother "It's hard to say if things have gotten better in those three years, or way worse."
Except, like many jokes, it's not really a joke.
When I first got our amazing wedding photos I had trouble looking through them.
Instead of seeing pictures, I saw memories. I remembered crying for hours the night before the wedding, sure Dan was making a colossal mistake in marrying someone his daughter hated so much. I remembered his ex-wife calling and yelling at him for an hour the first day of our honeymoon and wondered why the hell I had willingly signed on for this much animosity... for the rest of my life. The wedding itself, a ceremony promising union, felt like the biggest possible farce.
|Hard to believe you could not find perfection against this backdrop.|
Fast forward three years. Life is still uncertain, although I cry much less these days. Miss L no longer radiates hatred from her being if I walk into the room. And although Dan's ex-wife remains an obstacle to the future we want more often than not, we are learning how not to give in to terrorist demands.
We married in the eye of a hurricane but the storm is finally passing. Clouds are breaking; blue skies appearing.
Maybe the wedding felt false because I thought it should be the beginning of happily ever after and ours felt like the furthest thing from.
A wedding is a beginning, period.
On our wedding day, Dan and I joined hands and committed to a life together, and that's exactly what we're doing. It's not the perfect life. It never is, not for anyone. We're just living life, and living it together.
|Over rough roads and smooth.|
Doesn't get much more authentic or more celebratory than that.