Instead, I'll explain that I've been distracted by finding my balance.
You may remember a while back I took this writing job on a whim. What started out as an independent contractor gig that paid a penny per word became, as of February 1, a real-life grown-up job with paid vacation time and sick days and everything. Part-time, but still. Exciting!
Adjusting to this job-- which is pretty much the same thing I was doing before but just different enough to take 3x as long as it used to and also positions me uniquely to literally destroy the company if I screw up-- has me wavering.
Finding my balance.
My whole life has become tree pose.
|Oh sure, you make it look sooo easy with your|
directional arrows & your giant underwear...
In tree pose, my instructor says, you will waver. But this is not a sign of imbalance; it's a sign of finding your balance. You can't hold yourself so rigid that a little wavering knocks you off your groove.
I swear, part of the yoga teacher training must be a Life Metaphor section or something.
I remember my counselor telling me a story about something her yoga instructor said during class once and I said, "Wow, aren't yoga teachers so profound?" and she said "Seriously. Sometimes I think about just referring all my clients down to the yoga studio and closing up shop."
Now that my trial-by-fire month is over, my second month in feels easier. Steadier. Still nerve-wracking, but in an energizing way, not a terrifying way. And fun-hectic, new-adventure hectic.
Wavering, but in the sense of finding my balance.
Like a tree.