I'm self-employed, so getting a loan for a place in CO will be tricky. My current writing gig might become part-time rather than on a contract basis, so I might start getting real paychecks. Might. Sometime in the next month.
But maybe not.
Or I might nanny for my sister. Might. And I'd have real paychecks then too, but that won't be till September.
In between now and September, there's nothing but limbo. We know when we want to leave, we just don't have a place to land. We need a place to land because A) I don't want to spend another summer in godforsaken Las Vegas and B) Miss G starts school mid-August.
When I think about the logistics of this move, it all seems impossible. And while I do have faith that everything will work out somehow or other eventually, that is not good enough. I want it to work out now so I don't have to worry about it anymore.
Dan, in his exasperating, optimistic way, says "Well honey... Just think of this as a good time to exercise your patience muscle."
Luckily for him, my patience muscle has developed enough that I didn't punch him for that statement.
(Actually, he makes me laugh. I can't explain it.)
The thing is, though, Dan is right. You do actually have to exercise your patience muscle to make it stronger. Believing things will come to fruition, that makes my faith muscle stronger. And writing all the time, I feel my imagination muscle has gotten stronger too. Also, my idea muscle.
You never know all the ways your life will develop, internally or externally. It's a pretty fun ride.
If your patience muscle is strong enough to hold the course.