A Semi-Guilty Bullet List

Okay, it's absolutely terrible I have not posted in weeks. I apologize profusely.

In a lame effort to play catch-up, I've prepared this list of excuses/explanations/recent stories:

• Painted my folks' porch a fabulous woodgrain. Much better than pink stucco.
• Got a call to show the house!!
• TEN MINUTES FROM NOW, HOLY CRAP
• Found out I can, in fact, clean the entire house in ten minutes.
• Signed up for Reddit's super-fun Secret Santa Gift Exchange. Flexed artistic muscles making cool stuff for it; good experimentation all around. Learned some new techniques.
• Picked a sick kid up from school three days in a row because of rampant stomach problems.
• Started said kid on an elimination diet to see if maybe it's allergies. No wheat, corn, oats, soy, dairy, etc. (In kid terms: no pancakes, no chips n salsa, no mac n cheese, and no ketchup.) So far, so good, and almost zero complaining.
• Decided to start writing smutty romance novels and self-publish direct to Kindle. Because, well, why not.
• No, I will not be sharing my pen name or any future titles here. Or with anyone. Ever. I'll let you know if it works out though.
• Joined YogaGlo. Still on my free trial, and am completely in love.
• Started a Cry Movie Marathon with the girls (and sometime-participant, Dan) because Miss L says she has never cried at a movie before. 
• Growing concerned stepdaughter may be a sociopath, since the following movies failed to induce tears: The Seventh Sign, Pay it Forward, The Green Mile, Philadelphia, Romeo & Juliet, For the Boys, or Beaches. BEACHES, for god's sake!! 
• Dead Poets' Society & Steel Magnolias are still in the wings though, so it might end up okay... I'll keep you posted on that too.
• Found out that Miss G and Miss L are both getting terrible grades because all their parents believe them when they say they have no homework. Children everywhere are now under house arrest.
• Although I've been Slacky McSlackerton about posting on a regular schedule this month, I'm actually stepping it up after the new year: TWO posts a week. Woo hoo!

All right, I think that about covers it. We're all square now, right guys?

See you next week.