"Yes, thank you."

I’m terrible at recognizing the times I need support, and just as terrible at asking for it. My blindness and my stubbornness have cost me emotionally, financially, and physically time and time and time and time again.

This is something I know about myself, and that I’ve been working really hard to fix.

And yet. When my sister and my parents first heard that Dan would need surgery, they all offered to come to town and help out during his hospital stay. I said “Ohhh gosh, I don’t think you need to. We’ll be fine.” And I wasn’t trying to be brave or anything. I really believed it. I’m old hat at being a single mom. And Miss G is 12, after all, not 2. She’ll be in school during the day, can be left alone for a couple hours here or there and make herself mac n cheese. And it’s not like I’d need to carry him from the car to the house when he’s released or anything. It just didn't seem complicated enough to require an influx.

Blind. And being blind, of course I can’t see that I’m blind.

Once the surgery was actually scheduled, bumped up against Miss G’s 5-day weekend and overlapping a weekend Miss L will be here, practicality started poking me in the ribs. For one thing, how will I handle the kids’ visits? The hospital visitation policy says only 2 visitors in the room at a time. It also says all kids under 14 must be supervised at all times by an adult who isn’t a patient. So, all three of us can’t be in there at once. And at the same time, none of us can wait in the hall. Plus they’ll be bored after about 20 minutes, even assuming Dan is up to a longer visit. So I’ll have to drive them home and the hospital is 40 minutes from our house on a good traffic day. And once they’re home-- then what? Ditch ‘em home alone and go back to the hospital? Or stay with them and leave Dan alone in recovery?

And this is just one facet of next week. There’s also managing airport runs for Miss L, getting Miss G to her dad’s, plus keeping all the kids and dogs (and snakes and toads and fish and hamster) fed and watered and reasonably clean.  

More than anything else, I’m a realist. So when my sister asked a second time if I was sure I didn’t want any help, I took a deep breath, braced myself and said, “I’ve decided to just say ‘Yes, thank you’ to all offers of help that come my way this week. So... yes, thank you.”

And get this-- not only is she coming, but she’s put together this insane itinerary with a hospital visiting schedule for the kids, activities to keep ‘em busy and having fun from Thursday through Tuesday, grocery shopping, dinner-cooking, haunted housing and trick-or-treating. AND talked my folks into coming to help her with her own offspring while she’s taking care of mine.

I like this 'accepting' stuff. I’m still bad at asking but... I’m gonna keep working on it. This’ll be a great week to practice.


  1. I will be thinking of you and Dan this week. I hope everything goes smoothly and you feel loved! Bless Seri for coming out... you deserve family to be there for you!

  2. Thank goodness for big sisters. I'll be thinking of all of you this week. I'm sending you lots of love!